Bitter night

We have an expression in our language. “Have not been hungry to forget love" it means that weak economy can ruin every love!! I understand it now.

These days we have worst days in our married life. Last night he told me what I will never forget. Although we do not have big problem, we are healthy or our food or our wear is not as bad as make us unhappy, but I know my husband is bothered so much. . .

He is PhD student. He has problem with his adviser also. I know that whenever he has problem in office he would be anxious. But I was wonder why whenever he help me in house work, whenever he washes too much dishes or do cleaning, after that we would not have happy time together. last night I understand everything!!!!! Bitter reality!

Recently, he always found a way to start bickering. I t happened twice yesterday! I tried to not cry. When we arrived home he asked me to have conversation. He believes we should tell each other what we are thinking so we can be clear with each other.
He told me he is thinking I am not responsible about life. I take easy everything. Even painting which is my major is not as serious for me as it should be. He told me in my life even now I do not understand the gravity of situation!!!
Is it real. . . .?!! In my country I founded an art institute. It was successful but as every new institute it took time to earn money and in second year we left our country and came here . . . he told me even for that institute which had more than 10 employees and 100 students I was not serious . . . . Whatever!!!

I understand what he means behind all these words.

He is unhappy because I do not have job and income here. . . But my visa does not allow me to have job and he knows it better than me . . . he is unhappy because my application was not accepted for MFA. He is unhappy because all our couple friends are student both and have income twice!!! But it is not my fault. They are engineer and I am artist. . .

I am very upset. I feel humiliated . . . I have a lot of ability that no one of these people has . . .
What should I do? I am so sad . . . I do not have a close friend to speak about it at least . . . I need a shoulder to cry . . . . I am so sad . . .
Always I believe and told everybody I have best husband which is very kind and intellectual also . . . I cannot ruin it . . .